Dec 2006
arghghghghgh!!
19/12/06 19:21 |Permalink
I want to stab myself in the sinuses with a fork.
It's driving me crazy!!! CRAZY!
Fuck.
I can't even take sinutab or nyquil or anything else that has pseudoephedrine in it. Gah.
I've just called work to see if they can get my shift tomorrow covered. I've never called in sick because of a cold before, I feel really pathetic. It is the food industry though, wouldn't look good if the barista was sneezing into the lattes......
Tracy is going to kill me.
Fuck.
I can't even take sinutab or nyquil or anything else that has pseudoephedrine in it. Gah.
I've just called work to see if they can get my shift tomorrow covered. I've never called in sick because of a cold before, I feel really pathetic. It is the food industry though, wouldn't look good if the barista was sneezing into the lattes......
Tracy is going to kill me.
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damn you infectious peoples!!!
18/12/06 12:10 |Permalink
Gah!
I'm sick. SICK! I don't get sick, not really, sure I get physical ailments, and sometimes strep throat or tonsillitis, but I very rarely get colds/flu etc I have a cold now though. I shake my fist at the people who gave me this - you know who you are.....and, more importantly, so do I! Ha!
Anyway, this sickness is cutting into my plans of the 398 things I had to do today. Luckily, most of them are in my apartment, and I've got to make a lot of Christmas presents still (yup, too poor to buy them!) so I might venture out to Blockbuster and get some movies to watch at the same time.
Tre-C and I went out for cocktails last night, it was fun!
Although I am quite disappointed
in how much of a lightweight I've become. I
blame the fact that I'm on 3 different meds
which all say not to drink alcohol at the same
time as taking them. Ho hum....
I bought some 3-in-1 coffee last night. That stuff is the best invention ever! It's so lazy and cheap ass - coffee, milk and sugar all combined in one handy packet! heheheh. Okay, so it doesn't make the best quality coffee but sometimes you just want some cheap sweet milky coffee and not premium stuff.
I think I'm going to write to the head office of my employers and tell them all about how we basically put our lives on the line every time we change a garbage bag. Sounds dramatic but if you think about it, it's true. We have so many people shooting up in our washroom that we never know if we're going to stab ourselves with a used needle. Rubber gloves aren't going to help, a sharps kit isn't going to help - either way we have to pick the needle up and that's assuming we know it's there! I had to walk 2 bags individually to the garbage room after dark this weekend because they contained needles (which I luckily found before changing the bag) and I didn't want to leave them in the backstore incase someone else pricked themselves. I shouldn't have to deal with that, I certainly don't get paid to deal with that - my life is certainly worth more than $10 an hour (which I don't even make!). And I'm not even going to get into the used condoms.....
I'm sick. SICK! I don't get sick, not really, sure I get physical ailments, and sometimes strep throat or tonsillitis, but I very rarely get colds/flu etc I have a cold now though. I shake my fist at the people who gave me this - you know who you are.....and, more importantly, so do I! Ha!
Anyway, this sickness is cutting into my plans of the 398 things I had to do today. Luckily, most of them are in my apartment, and I've got to make a lot of Christmas presents still (yup, too poor to buy them!) so I might venture out to Blockbuster and get some movies to watch at the same time.
Tre-C and I went out for cocktails last night, it was fun!
Although I am quite disappointed
in how much of a lightweight I've become. I
blame the fact that I'm on 3 different meds
which all say not to drink alcohol at the same
time as taking them. Ho hum....
I bought some 3-in-1 coffee last night. That stuff is the best invention ever! It's so lazy and cheap ass - coffee, milk and sugar all combined in one handy packet! heheheh. Okay, so it doesn't make the best quality coffee but sometimes you just want some cheap sweet milky coffee and not premium stuff.
I think I'm going to write to the head office of my employers and tell them all about how we basically put our lives on the line every time we change a garbage bag. Sounds dramatic but if you think about it, it's true. We have so many people shooting up in our washroom that we never know if we're going to stab ourselves with a used needle. Rubber gloves aren't going to help, a sharps kit isn't going to help - either way we have to pick the needle up and that's assuming we know it's there! I had to walk 2 bags individually to the garbage room after dark this weekend because they contained needles (which I luckily found before changing the bag) and I didn't want to leave them in the backstore incase someone else pricked themselves. I shouldn't have to deal with that, I certainly don't get paid to deal with that - my life is certainly worth more than $10 an hour (which I don't even make!). And I'm not even going to get into the used condoms.....
17/12/06 02:05 |Permalink
Heh! I'm sitting at a spare workstation in Matt's
office. He had to come in to do some work and invited
me to come with him, I feel like a real grown-up!
Truth be told, I've never actually had a 'real' job,
I've always just worked in retail or the service
industry. There was that summer I spent selling books
door-to-door in Seattle but that was more like a
holiday. And we're not even going to talk about the
months I spent cleaning insurance offices - I lucked
out and got to clean all the washrooms, oh how lucky
I was. (I still wonder where in the evolutionary
ladder men lost the ability to aim.....).
I should be making Christmas presents right now but I'm pissing about updating my webpage. And then I'm going to try to do something with that logo (I will conquer Illustrator, oh yes!).
I need to work out what I want to do with my life.I need to be able to think, to be challenged, to get a feeling of satisfaction when I achieve something, and to make a difference in the world. I've thought of either medicine or law but I don't know if I'm aiming too high. My ADD doctor said that now we've pretty much sorted out the medication I need, the best thing for me would be to go back to school or to take at least one course. He says that although I notice the difference now I'm being treated, my subconscious is still thinking that I'm stupid. He says that I could probably take any course, even nuclear physics or something else I've never studied before, and he'd be surprised if I got anything less that a B. He re-iterated that I'm spectacularly smart and now I just need to believe it myself. I guess he's got a point. Although I'm not entirely convinced that I'm spectacularly smart. hmmmm.....
Arthur is almost back to his old self. He spent two nights in vet hospital and I spent $750 . Meh. He got treated for constipation (which can kill a cat) and then when I get him home he has diarrhoea. Gah! I'm glad to have him back, it's amazing how empty an apartment can feel when there's one cat missing!
I have a crush on some of my customers, is that bad?
And, I should never go shopping when I'm feeling thirsty. I popped into Dominion to get cat food and left with 9 different things to drink! Ho hum!
I should be making Christmas presents right now but I'm pissing about updating my webpage. And then I'm going to try to do something with that logo (I will conquer Illustrator, oh yes!).
I need to work out what I want to do with my life.I need to be able to think, to be challenged, to get a feeling of satisfaction when I achieve something, and to make a difference in the world. I've thought of either medicine or law but I don't know if I'm aiming too high. My ADD doctor said that now we've pretty much sorted out the medication I need, the best thing for me would be to go back to school or to take at least one course. He says that although I notice the difference now I'm being treated, my subconscious is still thinking that I'm stupid. He says that I could probably take any course, even nuclear physics or something else I've never studied before, and he'd be surprised if I got anything less that a B. He re-iterated that I'm spectacularly smart and now I just need to believe it myself. I guess he's got a point. Although I'm not entirely convinced that I'm spectacularly smart. hmmmm.....
Arthur is almost back to his old self. He spent two nights in vet hospital and I spent $750 . Meh. He got treated for constipation (which can kill a cat) and then when I get him home he has diarrhoea. Gah! I'm glad to have him back, it's amazing how empty an apartment can feel when there's one cat missing!
I have a crush on some of my customers, is that bad?
And, I should never go shopping when I'm feeling thirsty. I popped into Dominion to get cat food and left with 9 different things to drink! Ho hum!
bollocks!
11/12/06 09:22 |Permalink
damn technology!!
10/12/06 00:03 |Permalink
I can't find PhotoShop on my laptop. 
Boo-urns. I'm trying to edit the
logo for this new non-profit organisation that
I've been conscripted into helping set up. It's
called Sahara Restoration and it's aim is to
restore the Sahara Desert (which you probably
guessed from the title!!). A long, long time ago
the Sahara wasn't the huge desert wasteland that
it is now. In fact, the Sahara was rainforest.
Well, it was at least savannah. Justin, the guy
who's brainchild this is, wants to plant lots of
trees and help reclaim some of the land back. He
wants to create farmland to sustain the area and
help indigenous peoples. The trees will also
become a carbon sink and help replace those
which are being cut down indiscriminately across
the world. This is the simplified version of it
all because it's after midnight and my brain
isn't working.
bleee.
Ryerson University offers a Certificate in Non-Profit and Volunteer Sector Management. I've looked into this before and now that I'm involved in the Sahara Restoration organisation, it seems even more like a good idea. I've managed to con Justin into doing it too so we should be able to motivate each other!!! It'll be done mainly online as
I'll still be working (and maybe studying for
the LSAT).
I've decided, once again, that I want to save the world. (Yes, yes, you're all thinking about the Michael Jackson song, I know!). I think I'm going to knit scarves for homeless people and impoverished children.
My little Arthur Buddha Cat is sick. He's slightly constipated and he's also got a really sore nose. I don't know if Jack scratched it or if Arthur just cut himself, but there's a chunk missing and it's oozing plasma. Arthur just lies there and looks miserable. I'm really worried about him, he's my baby cat and I love him. I don't know whether his nose'll just heal by itself or if I should take him to the vet. The same goes with the constipation. I mean, he's still eating but he's not himself. I don't have much money but I would do what I had to if it meant the difference between him getting better or not. I'm off on Monday so I'll see how he is then and if he's not better I'll take him to the vet. Anyway, that's enough about my cat's bowel problems for now. I hope he gets better soon. *fingers crossed*
On the upside, now that the increased dosage of Wellbutrin is no longer making me crazily dizzy (so I get sent home from work), it's working SO well. I have so much motivation to do a whole ton of things. The only problem now is the time constraints! This working for a living really cuts into my plans for life!
Ok, I've gotta go now, I'm waiting for Matt to finish work and I think he's nearly done. Adios amigos!
Boo-urns. I'm trying to edit the
logo for this new non-profit organisation that
I've been conscripted into helping set up. It's
called Sahara Restoration and it's aim is to
restore the Sahara Desert (which you probably
guessed from the title!!). A long, long time ago
the Sahara wasn't the huge desert wasteland that
it is now. In fact, the Sahara was rainforest.
Well, it was at least savannah. Justin, the guy
who's brainchild this is, wants to plant lots of
trees and help reclaim some of the land back. He
wants to create farmland to sustain the area and
help indigenous peoples. The trees will also
become a carbon sink and help replace those
which are being cut down indiscriminately across
the world. This is the simplified version of it
all because it's after midnight and my brain
isn't working.
bleee.
Ryerson University offers a Certificate in Non-Profit and Volunteer Sector Management. I've looked into this before and now that I'm involved in the Sahara Restoration organisation, it seems even more like a good idea. I've managed to con Justin into doing it too so we should be able to motivate each other!!!
It'll be done mainly online as
I'll still be working (and maybe studying for
the LSAT).
I've decided, once again, that I want to save the world. (Yes, yes, you're all thinking about the Michael Jackson song, I know!). I think I'm going to knit scarves for homeless people and impoverished children.
My little Arthur Buddha Cat is sick. He's slightly constipated and he's also got a really sore nose. I don't know if Jack scratched it or if Arthur just cut himself, but there's a chunk missing and it's oozing plasma. Arthur just lies there and looks miserable. I'm really worried about him, he's my baby cat and I love him. I don't know whether his nose'll just heal by itself or if I should take him to the vet. The same goes with the constipation. I mean, he's still eating but he's not himself. I don't have much money but I would do what I had to if it meant the difference between him getting better or not. I'm off on Monday so I'll see how he is then and if he's not better I'll take him to the vet. Anyway, that's enough about my cat's bowel problems for now. I hope he gets better soon. *fingers crossed*
On the upside, now that the increased dosage of Wellbutrin is no longer making me crazily dizzy (so I get sent home from work), it's working SO well. I have so much motivation to do a whole ton of things. The only problem now is the time constraints! This working for a living really cuts into my plans for life!
Ok, I've gotta go now, I'm waiting for Matt to finish work and I think he's nearly done. Adios amigos!
regrets, i've had a few....
05/12/06 11:46 |Permalink
Okay, so I thought I was dealing well with the whole
ADD thing, and I guess I am to a certain extent. In
fact, I kind of make jokes about it, which is my way
of dealing with things (c.f. attempted rape, etc
etc). However, I can't help but feel angry that I
only got diagnosed at the age of 30, AFTER
university. I try not to be, but I can't help feeling
that my life is wasted now. I don't really blame
anyone, I know it's only recently that awareness has
increased about non-hyperactive ADD, and without
sounding smug, I am quite smart so I wasn't falling
behind at school so I wasn't obvious but my life
could have been so much different if I'd received the
diagnosis and treatment at university.
Okay, so I have two university degrees, one science, one arts. That's pretty impressive, one involves the right side of the brain, one involves the left. One is a Masters degree. I have genius level IQ. I should be achieving so much more than just steaming milk and pulling shots for a living. I should be high flying, achieving, helping people.
I used to want to be a doctor, work for Medecins sans Frontieres, or paediatrics, or emergency medicine. I sucked at maths, my parent wouldn't get me a maths tutor because I didn't suck THAT badly. Maths was the reason I couldn't do medicine. I was acing biology, I was understanding university chemistry at the age of 14, I could do English better than anyone thought (even myself) but not maths. I've since found out that a high percentage of ADDers have problems with maths. If i'd been diagnosed earlier, I could have had help with my maths. I could have been in Darfur or Iraq or Afghanistan helping people right now instead of catering to the over-privileged in downtown Toronto.
I'm too old to do medicine now. I would be about 40 before I was qualified, which isn't that old, but it would be pretty much impossible to have children in that time.
I've thought about law, I'm still thinking about it. The thing is, I don't know if I'm smart enough for it. I've spent so long thinking I'm stupid and lazy and my brain doesn't work that I don't know if I even have the confidence to study for the LSAT. Maybe I should just stay steaming milk? At least I know I can do that. But if I studied law, I'd want to specialise in human rights and/or environmental law and those would also help people, right?
I don't know what I'm trying to say here. I guess that I just need to get it out of myself that sometimes I'm angry about the ADD diagnosis, not that I have it, because I've always had it (it's just that nobody noticed), but that it took so long for anyone to notice. I lived with two teacher parents, I went through two university degrees. I wondered if I might have it myself when I was at university but I figured I was too old and not hyperactive so I was obviously just stupid. I guess i'm angry that there isn't more awareness of inattentive type ADHD, more awareness that a lot more adults are being diagnosed with it now as more is known about the disorder.
Meh, this is just a rambling rant, it doesn't make much sense. I apologise to anyone who reads it. But this is my blog and this is how I feel, and although I'm usually fine with the whole thing, today I'm regretful and angry that my life isn't what it could be and I have no idea how to change it.
Okay, so I have two university degrees, one science, one arts. That's pretty impressive, one involves the right side of the brain, one involves the left. One is a Masters degree. I have genius level IQ. I should be achieving so much more than just steaming milk and pulling shots for a living. I should be high flying, achieving, helping people.
I used to want to be a doctor, work for Medecins sans Frontieres, or paediatrics, or emergency medicine. I sucked at maths, my parent wouldn't get me a maths tutor because I didn't suck THAT badly. Maths was the reason I couldn't do medicine. I was acing biology, I was understanding university chemistry at the age of 14, I could do English better than anyone thought (even myself) but not maths. I've since found out that a high percentage of ADDers have problems with maths. If i'd been diagnosed earlier, I could have had help with my maths. I could have been in Darfur or Iraq or Afghanistan helping people right now instead of catering to the over-privileged in downtown Toronto.
I'm too old to do medicine now. I would be about 40 before I was qualified, which isn't that old, but it would be pretty much impossible to have children in that time.
I've thought about law, I'm still thinking about it. The thing is, I don't know if I'm smart enough for it. I've spent so long thinking I'm stupid and lazy and my brain doesn't work that I don't know if I even have the confidence to study for the LSAT. Maybe I should just stay steaming milk? At least I know I can do that. But if I studied law, I'd want to specialise in human rights and/or environmental law and those would also help people, right?
I don't know what I'm trying to say here. I guess that I just need to get it out of myself that sometimes I'm angry about the ADD diagnosis, not that I have it, because I've always had it (it's just that nobody noticed), but that it took so long for anyone to notice. I lived with two teacher parents, I went through two university degrees. I wondered if I might have it myself when I was at university but I figured I was too old and not hyperactive so I was obviously just stupid. I guess i'm angry that there isn't more awareness of inattentive type ADHD, more awareness that a lot more adults are being diagnosed with it now as more is known about the disorder.
Meh, this is just a rambling rant, it doesn't make much sense. I apologise to anyone who reads it. But this is my blog and this is how I feel, and although I'm usually fine with the whole thing, today I'm regretful and angry that my life isn't what it could be and I have no idea how to change it.
finally!!
04/12/06 10:29 |Permalink
For the first time in ages, I actually woke up
feeling like I'd had a good night's sleep!! This
makes me smile.
I have to go back to work this afternoon, which doesn't make me smile quite so much. Nor does the fact that I didn't achieve most of what I wanted to over my 5 day break. Still, I guess I just needed some Me Time. And my apartment is tidier which is something....
I'm going to have to get rid of some of my books though, I just don't have the space for them all. It's like choosing which children to give up for adoption...
So, I'm going to focus on the happiness of a good night's sleep.
I have to go back to work this afternoon, which doesn't make me smile quite so much. Nor does the fact that I didn't achieve most of what I wanted to over my 5 day break. Still, I guess I just needed some Me Time. And my apartment is tidier which is something....
I'm going to have to get rid of some of my books though, I just don't have the space for them all. It's like choosing which children to give up for adoption...
So, I'm going to focus on the happiness of a good night's sleep.
stupid apple
03/12/06 14:40 |Permalink
Gah. I can't believe that after 19 years it still
hurts. WTF?!
I HATE BEING FEMALE!! BRING ON THE MENOPAUSE!!
And all because we tempted Adam with an apple? could he not say no? How come we get punished and he gets away with being a spineless wimp who couldn't turn down a sodding apple??????
Gah.
I guess God is male after all.
Hmph.
I HATE BEING FEMALE!! BRING ON THE MENOPAUSE!!
And all because we tempted Adam with an apple? could he not say no? How come we get punished and he gets away with being a spineless wimp who couldn't turn down a sodding apple??????
Gah.
I guess God is male after all.
Hmph.